Business Model

So this got me thinking. If anybody out there in internetsland wants to buy me a pair of jeans I promise that they'll be worn almost daily for six months by a genuine (half Italian) New Jerseyite knowledge worker (me) who promises to get really drunk in them at least seven times. After which, I will have them professionally cleaned and repaired and sent back to you for only $300. Should I happen to vomit on the jeans or get my ass kicked while wearing them (blood stains!!) the price will, of course, go up.